Tips for a successful date night at his place.

Going to your older boyfriend’s home for the first time can be exciting and nerve-racking. It is ok to be nervous or unsure when a guy invites you to his place. The average person goes on 4-5 dates before finding a partner they want to pursue a relationship with. To make sure you have a good connection, wait until the 6th date to go to his place. We definitely do not recommend going to their home on a first date after meeting on a dating app like Tinder or If a man asks you to meet him at his house for the first date, consider this a red flag and ask him to choose a public date spot.

Before going to your date’s place for a drink or dinner, discuss what it means to the relationship and the intentions. Ask if this is a casual night of enjoying good food and company, or if you should pack an overnight bag. If you are not comfortable talking about spending the night with someone, this is a sign that you are not ready to spend the night together.

Questions to ask before going to an older man’s place

  • Do you live with anyone else?
    • An older man may live with his adult children or grandchildren. If he lives with his children, ask if his children are ok with him dating or have had problems with previous girlfriends.
  • How far away do you live from where I live?
    • Knowing the distance from your hom to his is important because it will help you create a plan if you visit and decide you want to leave.
  • Do you have any pets?
    • If you are allergic to or afraid of pets, it is important to know he has pets.
  • Do you rent a room, and if so, do you have access to the entire home or apartment?
    • Renting a room could create an uncomfortable situation if you are expected to stay in his room the whole time. 

Visiting an older man at his house for the first time

It is important to keep the lines of communication open when dating. What might be an innocent invitation to come over for drinks or a glass of wine could be interpreted as an offer to spend the night. Make sure you communicate your expectations (watching a movie and laughing on the couch) before accepting an invitation to go into your date’s house.

Create a list of conversations starters for the date

When you have something to talk about, things will feel easy. You’ll also increase your chances of having a great conversation, laugh more, feel relaxed, show interest in your date’s life, and create an opportunity to learn more about each other.

Have a backup plan

A backup plan can help you leave an uncomfortable situation. Ask a trusted friend to call you at a specific time. When you answer, if you need to leave but are uncomfortable, you can pretend it is an emergency and make a quick exit. Also, be safe while dating and give your trusted friend the name, address, and phone number of the man you are dating.

Intimacy with a man over the age of 60

When you are over 60 and just starting dating again, you might be very eager for emotional and physical intimacy, especially if you have been alone for a while. Enjoy the moment and take it slow so you can find someone who is kind and everything you need him to be. Stifle the impulse to go into overdrive and take your time and get to know the other at a safe and gradual pace. Developing sexual intimacy involves vulnerability and trust, which takes time to grow. Intimacy is a very delicate and precious process that must grow in its way and at its own pace, and it can in no way be forced or coerced.

Keep in mind that people over 60 have had several past relationships. While some may feel comfortable becoming sexual early in a relationship, others may need to wait longer. You must set the pace but remember to keep the lines of communication open.


Before going to your older boyfriend’s home for the first time for a drink, a meal, take-out pizza, and a movie, always discuss what it means to the relationship, i.e., if this means that you are ready to take your relationship to the next level as sex is concerned or not. A person who truly cares for you will be supportive of your boundaries and your decision. Once that discussion is out of the way, you can settle in for an enjoyable date at his place without any pressure.