Safety dating tips for women dating men older than 60 years old

Dating and looking for a soulmate can be an exciting part of life. Three of the most important things to do while dating are to trust your gut, pay attention to red flags, and protect yourself. We compiled some safety tips for women to protect themselves, stay safe, and avoid violence and assault when starting new relationships.

There are a few basic things to keep in mind when considering dating safety; being aware of your surroundings, being aware of who you’re meeting, and making sure you have a way to contact someone if something goes wrong.

Things to stay safe when online dating

  1. Use a reputable dating site. Be sure to do your research and choose a site that is right for you.
  2. Create a strong password. When creating your account, be sure to use a strong password. This will help to keep your account safe from hackers.

Research your potential date

The first thing to think about when dating safely is to not go on a date without doing some research about the person. Google, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are great places to start your research.

  • Google their name to find out if they have a criminal record, have been involved in a scam, or if they are married.
  • Search for them on LinkedIn. You’ll see the types of jobs they have had, how they interact with others in a professional setting and recommendations from colleagues. You might also find information about inappropriate behavior from others while networking on LinkedIn.
    • If you use LinkedIn to research your date, consider changing your profile to private so they won’t know you looked at their LinkedIn profile. Also, make sure your LinkedIn profile is up-to-date in case someone uses it to research your background.
  • Look for their Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram profile. If they have an account, you will see more candid photos, and might learn information about their political views, their ideas about violence towards women, and their thoughts about assualt and victims’ rights.

Meet in a public place

For the first few dates, avoid meeting in a private location (like a house). Instead, meet at a public place where plenty of people are around, like a restaurant, coffee shop, or shopping mall. If you feel uncomfortable and need help, trust your gut and lower your risk of danger fast. In a public area, there will be other people around who can help you or provide video evidence of physical abuse. Additionally, you can ask a friend or family member to sit at a nearby table just in case something goes wrong.

If you are at a bar or restaurant, keep an eye on your drink and if possible, order something without alcohol. Unfortunately, a date might add drugs to your drink while you are in the bathroom or away on a phone call. If you are uncomfortable or if a drink tastes unusual, let a bartender or waitress know through code. Many bars have secret codes like asking for an “Angel Shot” that guests can use to tell a staff member something’s wrong. If you are unsure of a bar or restaurant’s secret code, visit the women’s bathroom. Sometimes bars have their code written on the door behind each stall.

Let a friend know where you will be

Inform a family member or friend of your plans, so they are aware of your whereabouts. Turn on your location settings on your phone and share your location with a friend. Keep your mobile phone close by so that you can reach them immediately if anything goes wrong. Give your friend a code word that lets them know to call the police. Example: If your code word is ‘puppy,’ call or text your friend and talk about your excitement about picking up your new puppy. 

Share your date’s contact info

Give your friends and family members the contact information of the person you are meeting. Include their full name, phone number, email, and a link to their profile if you met them on an online dating app. If you know their Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram profiles, include links to those too.

Consider emotional stability

Try to determine if your online dating connection is emotionally stable before you decide to meet. Anger issues, communication problems, or fascination with romance scams are important red flags to look for.

Don’t immediately give someone your actual phone number

Use a Google Voice number instead. With the Google Voice app, you can check your calls, voicemails, and messages without giving out your actual number. We also like Google Voice’s ability to block anyone. This is especially important if you help you avoid catfishers and scammers.  Also, use an email address specifically for dating. Make sure this email is not your work email.

Drive yourself or take public transportation

Even if it is more convenient, do not let someone pick you up on your first date. This is extremely important because allowing someone to pick you up will let them know where you live and give them control over where you go. Driving yourself also lowers your risk of getting into uncomfortable or dangerous situations.

Do not give out personal information (such as your home address or workplace) to someone you have just met.

Keeping your home address and workplace private is very important. You want to make sure you staying safe before and after the date.

Red flags to watch out for when meeting someone new

  • If the person is evasive about their personal life, be wary. They may be hiding something.
  • If the person is overly critical of others, it could be a sign that they’re not as confident as they seem.
  • If the person is always trying to one-up others, they may be insecure and trying to compensate.

Be aware of jealous behavior

Jealousy is an unpleasant emotion that will negatively affect your relationship and cause severe emotional scars. 

Clues of jealousy include:

  • Feeling like you are being watched
  • Feeling like you are misunderstood or punished for your actions
  • A person who is jealous often:
    • belittles your success
    • boasts about their successes
    • tries to compete with you for no reason
    • talks behind your back
    • shows fake appreciation
    • attempts to take credit for your success
    • undermines your accomplishments
    • tries to demotivate you

Have a video chat or virtual date before meeting in person

If you are using online dating services like Harmony and Match.com, consider having a video chat or a virtual date before meeting in person. A virtual date will give you a glimpse of how he looks and behaves before meeting him. This will also help to reduce the risk of being tricked by someone claiming to be someone they are not.

Know your boundaries

Before going on a first date, ask yourself how much physical intimacy you are comfortable with. Are you comfortable giving a hug, kiss, or one-night stand? Thinking about these questions before the date will help you respond to specific questions your date might ask and know how to react if your date leans in to kiss you or suggests going back to his place.

Conclusion

Dating and creating matches on dating apps can be a lot of fun. However, there are some things you should do to have safe dating experiences. Being aware of your surroundings, be aware of who you’re meeting, and make sure you have a way to contact someone if something goes wrong. Safety tips should be followed at all times, especially at the beginning of a new relationship.